1st Annual JWM Poetry Read

Lydia Staton

This past weekend all the Associates gathered together to celebrate the season during our annual J.W. Morton Christmas Party. The party was held at the Campbell Steele Gallery in Marion, and we were treated with delicious food, courtesy of The Wright Touch Bake Shoppe, and enjoyed the musical stylings of John Shultz.

This year in addition to our annual, weeklong Secret Santa gift exchange, which concludes during the Christmas party, Jeff had the idea to add a new twist – Tuesday would be poem day. We were given the task of writing a poem for our Secret Santa; a task not readily accepted by everyone. These poems were then read during the party. Although we are not all copywriters here at J.W. Morton, no one was surprised by all the creativity, humor, and wit that went in to these poems. Below you will find a sampling. Please enjoy, and Merry Christmas!

1.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Cholula sauce is hot
And so are you!

As you ponder who wrote this
Your smile grows wider
Perhaps I should be…
A Copywriter!
(or am I?)

You say on your form that you are Kim K. “the first”
This poem is going downhill fast
Can it get any “worst”?

You’ll never guess who wrote this
Not in a million years
You’re laughing so hard now
I’ve brought you to tears!

Merry Christmas
Secret Santa

2. Mrs. Clause, Claws, Claus
The pen being mightier than the sword,
Great writing comes of her own accord.
She fashions stories of graph and clause,
Some for naught, some for applause.

Her passion though, when she takes pause,
Is not for words, rather pets with paws.
In the wayward dog, lost and abused,
She finds her reward and is amused.

The pets they see her as Mrs. Claus,
Food and shelter for these paws with claws,
And on her sleigh into the winter fogs
Goes Nancy Crist and her thirteen dogs.

More rapid than eagles,
Her coursers they came.
And she whistled, and shouted,
And called them by name.

Now Yale, now Buster, now Petey and Rambo,
On Rex, on Joe, on Sadie and Pablo,
Now Jack, now Noah, now Betty Blue,
On Buddy and Casey…to name a few.

3.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Here’s more beer.

4. A Kristopher Haiku
Bitter sweet spice flame
Taste see create know
The tower leans

5.
Cardinals are red
Sinatra’s eyes are/were blue
Here’s your favorite beverage
Shoo be do be do

6.
Yesterday Santa’s first gift
I hope you thought it sweet.
Now here’s a poem and a drink
Another tasty treat.
Family, friends and spirits full
Of feelings that you’re blessed.
And yet these gifts are not your taste
Nothing like what you’d guessed.
Though Christmas is for giving
There might be secret blame,
And deep inside you may have thought
“Why did they pick MY name”?
But after all the laughter
And gifting small and large,
You have the greatest gift of all,
“I’m Kim and I’m in charge!”

7.’Twas the Day Before A Deadline
‘Twas the day before a deadline,
And all through the firm,
An un-named account manager
Was making artists squirm.

The job jackets were hung
By the computers with care;
Due dates and job numbers,
The specs were all there.

The changes were needed now,
Or so the email said;
While visions of a noon bike ride
Danced in the manager’s head.

The designer said not a word,
But went right to the chore;
Of cutting and pasting,
And then cutting some more.

And just when it seemed
The project had drawn to a close,
From the corner room,
A great clamor arose.

“No, no, this isn’t it”, the manager said,
“We’re not there, but we’re close;
Let’s make the logo bigger
And move the QR just a skosh.”

So the designer obliged,
And a new proof was sent;
The client approved,
And off the two went.

And I heard the manager exclaim,
As he drove out of sight;
“New PDFs to all,
And to all a good night.”

8.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
The holidays are here
Time to buy a present or two.

Your girls will be ready
The mall their destination
They will want you there
For the credit card presentation.

Home you’ll go to wrap
And place under the tree
The gifts that you found
For each other to see.

Soon it’s Christmas Eve night
You leave Santa milk and cookies
You’re used to this routine
You’re no longer rookies.

Christmas day has finally arrived
The girls were upset
Because all that Santa had left
Was his pants on the ground!

Merry Christmas

From your Secret Santa